12/52

alright. so this time i won't be too hard on myself should i not make it the full year. because, well, as we know--life happens and it's been a bit since i last did this...and really this is much more for my own memories than anything else. thus, without further ado...

fourty six days

giving this plant a good dusting as the light pours into our unfinished kitchen is all too fitting this morning.

my heart aches for rest, for revitalization. there are nooks and the smallest crannies that have yearned to be fed for some time. but they have lost to social media--both instagram and facebook alike.

instagram--the app that has been such an immense blessing in my life as i have searched for community, providing me solidarity, with kin mothers who are wrestling and needed someone--as i did--to place a proverbial hand on the shoulder and say me too. the app that has handed me beautiful in-real-life friendships that i would have otherwise not met.

the birth of hadley

flipping through the pages of a parenting magazine, i sat waiting for my non-stress test. i was one week and a day overdue, with very little patience and a whole lot of anxiety. the day after my due date, my o.b. had said she would be surprised if i went past the weekend. and yet there i was, sitting, past the weekend on a wednesday, still very much pregnant.

sisters

this was the moment i waited nine long months for: our two precious girls to meet. as much as i anticipated it, though, i didn't snap a single photo as my hands were plenty full. but oh, my heart just burst through the brim.

hadley was quite shy at first as she walked through our front door, past the sign her daddy wrote reading "welcome home big sister hadley grace." she slowly walked towards me, donning a big sister shirt her nana had given her during her stay at their house while we were at the birthing center. she seemed a bit unsure as she glanced around the room first at me and the baby, then towards her daddy, then over to her nana, then back at me and baby.

on surrender

"there is an appointed time for everything. and there is a time for every event under heaven--a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted."
-ecclesiastes 3:2

as our family anticipates the arrival of this new little one, we are met with every emotion. it's difficult for me to quit thinking that happiness lies in the future, no matter how badly we yearn for it. but rather, we must be fully present, giving into the slow-drip of time and of waiting. there is only so many more days left as a family of three--as hadley being our only child--and i long so badly to savor these moments, to soak up all the richness that is right now.

with less than two days to go until the "due date," we will be going about our days quite the same but with an emphasis on being here, fully invested. i place quotations there because, well, baby could come any day now...or she may possibly wait for a few more weeks (crossing my fingers the latter does not happen).

spring babymoon on the oregon coast

growing up, my family spent labor day weekend each year in cannon beach with a big--and i mean huge--group of friends. every year that group got bigger and friends became more like family. it was something my brothers and i looked forward to all summer long. thus, the oregon coast has become very near and dear to my heart. so when david and i were talking about if and where to do a babymoon, cannon beach was the first thing to come to my mind.

11/52

the softest robe by shop pink blush

the story of hadley, part one: an ending

two years ago we announced the news of our unplanned pregnancy.

when it happened--it being, you know, it--we were freshly four months into dating, still getting to know each other, no where near engaged and still in our undergrad programs.

as hadley's second birthday draws near, i wanted to re-tell a bit of her story in three parts because

every. life. matters.

family photos for the soul

some days it's quite hard for me to come to terms and just accept the fact that we aren't well off, that i can't do what everyone else is doing and that it's going to take quite a bit of time and patience to get to the place (physically and figuratively) we want to be.

and other days it's like: well shoot, who cares. that's life and life is a journey.

we decided to forego traditional christmas cards this year. does anyone our age even do christmas cards? i just love the thought of wrapping up a bit of our family to send to friends and loved ones near and far, making our way into their mailboxes, giving them something to open rather than bills and advertisements. i digress...but i still wanted to capture our little family of three in this chapter of our lives: hadley's little pigtails, her itty bitty teeth (by the way, she has all of them now!), my belly housing a teeny sister before it really begins to bulge, david and i learning and growing in what it means to be sacrificial and selfless as parent and spouse.