my heart aches for rest, for revitalization. there are nooks and the smallest crannies that have yearned to be fed for some time. but they have lost to social media--both instagram and facebook alike.
instagram--the app that has been such an immense blessing in my life as i have searched for community, providing me solidarity, with kin mothers who are wrestling and needed someone--as i did--to place a proverbial hand on the shoulder and say me too. the app that has handed me beautiful in-real-life friendships that i would have otherwise not met.
the app that has tore me down more than i could have imagined as i received hateful message after hateful message for some odd reason, during a period of time last year. the app that has ushered my heart into coveting and greed as it has done so many others who use it. the app that has become an utter advertisement where real, candid, beautiful life used to be displayed. the app that has us addicted to scrolling--facebook taking a close second in this--taking our time away from the people around that matter most.
i truly believe it is what you make it. it's what you put it. it's how you want to use it. it's your own heart issue. yes. yes. one thousand yeses. and i am here saying that my heart is grieving.
oh it's grieving.
it's grieving the times i have sat staring at this little 2.5 by 5 inch screen rather than partaking in play with my girls, the girls who will only be young for so long. it is grieving the rocks i have thrown into my husband and i's relationship as i have let comparison win--steal my joy.
what am i teaching my daughters? what am i brooding within myself? who do i ultimately want to be?
i want to be without ulterior motives: a woman of candor; i want to be present; i want to believe and radiate and preach people over things, experiences over money, time spent in real life over online.
thus after much deliberating...i have decided to part with both instagram and facebook for the next 46 days, and to instead fill my days with life and abundance and joy-bringing things. to taste and see and really truly find what it means to just be.
i will still post here from time to time, as writing and sharing is sincerely life-giving deep into my soul. and you can bet i'll write a bit about my journey on detoxing from social media.
so here goes nothin'!
I'm looking forward to hearing about your journey over the next 46 days. This detox sounds like it could be life-giving for you! So inspiring :)
ReplyDeleteHow’s the social media fast going for you? I came across your blog bc you followed me on Bloglovin. I did a January fast and have only returned to FB about once a week. Best to you! I think it’s the best thing I ever did!
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