the birth of amelia

her due date came and went as due dates often do. and, really, we weren't shocked as hadley surpassed hers as well, so we were expecting this little one to arrive late. the clock continued ticking, my pulse quickened and my anxiety increased as it began to seem more and more possible that these sisters could very well share a birthday.

laborade: a recipe

sometimes making a small change in the way we've done things before is enough to calm nerves and--praying and crossing my fingers--could even change whole situations.

i'm talking about labor. with hadley, my labor lasted ten hours, start to finish including pushing. it wasn't a horror story, it wasn't a walk in the park. however, i was induced and i still carry guilt with me for that. i had an epidural and i still carry guilt for that as well. i'll share a more detailed version of her birth soon, but in the meantime i wanted to share this recipe i've been working on.

on surrender

"there is an appointed time for everything. and there is a time for every event under heaven--a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted."
-ecclesiastes 3:2

as our family anticipates the arrival of this new little one, we are met with every emotion. it's difficult for me to quit thinking that happiness lies in the future, no matter how badly we yearn for it. but rather, we must be fully present, giving into the slow-drip of time and of waiting. there is only so many more days left as a family of three--as hadley being our only child--and i long so badly to savor these moments, to soak up all the richness that is right now.

with less than two days to go until the "due date," we will be going about our days quite the same but with an emphasis on being here, fully invested. i place quotations there because, well, baby could come any day now...or she may possibly wait for a few more weeks (crossing my fingers the latter does not happen).

a peek inside my birthing bag

as i lay in bed with my feet propped up i cannot help but notice that this little babe who is tucked snug beneath my heart is quieter than normal. she must be napping. she seems to be doing a lot of that lately as she really has run out of room, me being filled to the brim. i'm ready to pop. any moment now. and it truly is taking a toll on this here pregnant body of mine, which has been favoring pre-labor contractions for the past week or so.

there have been many moments i have quickly grabbed david's arm with that look on my face and asked him if i should call neva, our midwife. "just wait, just wait," he's said. and so far he's been right.

at almost 40 weeks, we are both soo ready and nowhere near ready. isn't funny how that is? but as we look back on our time with hadley as a newborn we are reminded they don't need much. so when this little babe decides to make her grand entrance, we know all will be well.