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Sep 17, 2017

[a portrait of my children, once a week, every week in 2017]


hadley: i have been an emotional wreck this week as i have realized just how much sweet hadley grace has grown. we scrolled through videos from this past year the other day and my heart wrenched. a tear rolled down my cheek and my breath quickened as hadley asked, what's wrong mommy, are you crying? yes, i answered. you miss daddy? it's such a conundrum, a paradox, motherhood. missing someone even as they sit just in front of you--or behind you, playing with your hair. i told her it was her that i missed. she didn't understand. she is thoughtful and sweet. she signs as we sing jesus loves me. when she helps put her sister down for naps or when she's playing mommy with her dolls, she tucks them in whispering, sweet dreams, sleep well!

amelia: i feel that we are slowly but surely gaining a rhythm with our little one. for a while it felt that we were sporadically feeding, and sleeping whenever she just decided to pass out. but it truly feels like we are sinking into a cadence and boy is it lovely. being that she is the second child we don't have much one-on-one time as i did with her older sister. so when i can spare a moment or two i stare into her big blue-grey eyes, stroke her cheek and smile. we are really starting to get to know each other over here and i am falling more deeply in love with her by the day. 

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