on turning twenty five

a quarter of a century...just five years shy of thirty, thirty! which used to seem so ancient to me. and now, most of our friends are approaching that age quickly or have already passed into their thirties. i cried yesterday to david--i've been doing that a lot recently...crying. i told him i still feel so young. that i still have so much life left and, yet, it feels like it's flying by.

one year ago i told him that i wanted my 25th to be a big deal. "go all out," i said, "throw me a surprise party! plan a big vacation!" and then i got pregnant again.

motherhood + pregnancy: what no one told me

white robe by shop pink blush

pregnancy! motherhood! i feel like we try to prepare as much as we can: ask the questions, read the books and the blogs, we receive a whole heck of a lot of unsolicited advice, but once we're thrown into the swing of it all, we realize there is a lot that no one or nothing really could have prepared you for. i thought i would share a few things (serious and funny, alike) that have happened to me and that have helped me over the course of the last few years on this journey called motherhood.

motherhood, the loneliest season

it has been 952 days since the gray cloud has made its way into my life, my heart--952 days since i took a positive pregnancy test and slowly began the sink into isolation.

my mother told me it would happen. it happened to her, she said, and it's happened to others--many others.

one would think after a few years this would go away, the clouds would lift, evaporate. but that's not the case, not even close.

this week my feelings have been much like the weather: snowing one moment, sunny and in the seventies the next--very confused, very bipolar.